How would you feel if some past ‘admirer of a deceased family member kept putting obnoxious items on that persons grave?
Sympathetic. I would understand the intent and feeling behind it even if I thought they were garish and ugly.
"Obnoxious" is in the eye of the beholder.
Another problem I see with many people throughout my life is that they believe that everyone else thinks exactly like they do, and what is "obvious" to them should be obvious to everyone else.
I've seen people embrace crap like that stuff the guy put on the grave and they think it's quite appropriate on graves. Indeed, the guy probably bought it from a supplier of grave decorations and clearly the seller doesn't think it's "obnoxious." I bet they sell a lot of those.
I think what the father really regards as obnoxious is the fiance, and this isn't about the crap, but is instead about the guy he didn't want his daughter to be with.
And note how you attempt to slant the conversation by using pejoratives that are *YOUR* view, and not objectively based.
You said "obnoxious" in the assumption that everyone else would see it the same way. Then you say "admirer" to minimize the fact that this was the girls' fiance meaning her would be husband, meaning the man she agreed to spend her life with.
You are "othering" him in order to make your argument more compelling. This is what people do when their actual argument isn't that strong.
Have you seen pictures of these flowers? I have on several different sites. I admit some flowers looked like they were planted. They were nearly black. Not my choice of color but no one asked me. I saw one picture of a box with flowers in it that looked nice. I think there is more to this story than we are being told.