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Man Shows Wife How To Close The 8,537 Browser Tabs She Has Open
BabylonBee.com ^ | 4-18-2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/19/2022 10:50:56 AM PDT by servo1969

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To: servo1969

My wife’s no idiot, but she does seem to think that a laptop has an endless reservoir of memory and storage.

I also believe she has the same endless reservoir of patience and tolerance for staying around me for as long as she has...

...so I give her a pass on the laptop.


41 posted on 04/19/2022 11:53:02 AM PDT by Magnatron
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To: Lurker

Louie Anderson had a good bit on “phone help” - of course I can’t find it now.

“You know - you have that one friend that knows stuff?
.
.
About phones.
.
.
.
Obiphonekanobi.
.
.
.
‘Obiphonekanobi - I need your help!’


42 posted on 04/19/2022 11:58:25 AM PDT by 21twelve (Ever Vigilant. Never Fearful.)
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To: servo1969

This inspired me to close my 284 open tabs just now. lol


43 posted on 04/19/2022 12:00:16 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Super cool you can change your tag line EVERYTIME you post!! :D. (Small things make me happy))
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To: servo1969

47?

She’s a piker. Got some 400 in one Tab Group and about a dozen tab groups.😁


44 posted on 04/19/2022 12:04:07 PM PDT by AFreeBird
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To: servo1969

Hey! Those shirts are just getting comfortable now!


45 posted on 04/19/2022 12:04:39 PM PDT by Seruzawa ("The Political left is the Garden of Eden of incompetence" - Marx the Smarter (Groucho))
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To: servo1969

Just call me Clarice!


46 posted on 04/19/2022 12:15:23 PM PDT by Bookwoman (And I am unanimous in that.)
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To: BBQToadRibs2

Could be worth hundreds or thousands...check out band tshirts on ebay...astounding.


47 posted on 04/19/2022 12:23:57 PM PDT by Adder (Proud member of the FJBLGB community: /s is implied where applicable.)
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To: GOP Poet

Wow..... thought I held that record at 697 between 5 windows when the comp started acting very sluggish.


48 posted on 04/19/2022 12:31:36 PM PDT by LastDayz (A blunt and brazen Texan. I will not be assimilated.)
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Meh. I’ve always got around 47 browsers running on my ‘puter.

How did The Joker put it?
“All the old, familiar places.”


49 posted on 04/19/2022 12:37:52 PM PDT by RandallFlagg ("Okay. As long as the paperwork is clean, you boys can do what you like out there." -Fifi)
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To: dead

I have a bunch of tabs AND a bunch of old T shirts.

Though I will say that after many years, I have about decided that tabs REDUCED my productivity and navigating between windows works much better. So, I’m trying to stop using tabs, mostly.


50 posted on 04/19/2022 12:38:17 PM PDT by old-ager
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To: Magnatron

I can’t stand it when I open an app and other apps I never touched are also running.

I love the close all feature.

I catch those bastards that open backdoor apps and shut them down.


51 posted on 04/19/2022 1:02:50 PM PDT by TheWriterTX (Trust not in earthly princes....!)
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To: servo1969

I have an android and my wife an iPhone. Somehow I get pegged to fix her iPhone. Someday I’ll ask her for help with my android just for fun.


52 posted on 04/19/2022 1:07:31 PM PDT by gbaker
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To: Lurker

I ran spybot search and destroy on a friend’s PC, it took two hours just to clear his history, 3 hours to clean up the rest. On mine usually about 5-10 minutes for all, but Windows 98 and above was still pretty slow by today’s PC’s standards.


53 posted on 04/19/2022 1:10:01 PM PDT by Ponyexpress9790
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To: BBQToadRibs2
I do have a Led Zeppelin concert t-shirt from college, which was 35+ years ago. Needless to say, it doesn’t fit.

Makes me laugh- at myself! I have a couple of hundred T-shirts and sweatshirts and an occasional hoodie from my running days. A few have survived since the late 70s!

54 posted on 04/19/2022 2:09:50 PM PDT by JimRed (TERM LIMITS, NOW! Militia to the border! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: JimRed

But my Boston Marathon ‘83 shirt is nowhere to be found.


55 posted on 04/19/2022 2:11:25 PM PDT by JimRed (TERM LIMITS, NOW! Militia to the border! TRUTH is the new HATE SPEECH.)
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To: servo1969
On the rare occasion I use my wife’s phone I’ll notice she has around 47 tabs open.

I used to work with a woman who had over 5,000 unread emails in her mailbox.

She eventually solved the problem by faking her own death.

56 posted on 04/19/2022 2:46:48 PM PDT by End Times Sentinel (In the conflict between the stone and the stream, the stream will always prevail.)
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To: Lurker

My wife is infamous in our family for leaving tabs open. Her laptop or cellphone, it makes no difference. She might have 12-15 tabs open. I’ll tell her “You’ve got too many programs running- that’s why it’s running so slow”. She’ll tell me “that’s not the reason!” I’ll say “OK, genius, you figure it out”. But Facebook- she knows backwards and forwards, inside and out!


57 posted on 04/19/2022 3:18:48 PM PDT by telescope115 (Proud member of the ANTIFAuci movement. )
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To: servo1969

Easier to just get a new computer.


58 posted on 04/19/2022 3:31:55 PM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
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To: servo1969

59 posted on 04/19/2022 3:36:15 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: z3n
"Since I’m ranting, I believe Microsoft buries everything useful. I hate ribbons!"

Indeed. Why would I not want to see details and more info than a basic amount? And the trend toward hiding and even eliminating things will continues. Linux is no better as far as GUI is concerned. But thank God for vetted freeware. one major change after XP is the divestiture of much of the appearance settings in later OS versions. W/11 (which i just upgraded to) is no different, and as with the Start menu the interface is worse. However, per usual, there is much tested freeware to enable extensive easy customization, such as,

Like Open Shell, download Open Shell (click on Releases>Latest on middle right side) to replace the mobile device W/11 start menu, and there is Explorer Patcher that restores the Windows 11 taskbar to be exactly like Windows 10, while Windows 7+ Taskbar Tweaker (I am using the beta ver.) provides more customization.
Then there are the over 200 tweaks available in Ultimate Windows Tweaker 4 and now there is Ultimate Windows Tweaker 5 for Windows 11 from the Windows club.

Add to this the many Winaero features of the Winaero Tweaker

Add to this is Right-Click Extender (add items to many right click menus), while T-Clock Redux works in W/10 (far better than the default) but not W/11 as yet.

I think that a simple right click on the desktop should provide a visible GUI menu with submenus listing access most every setting, but instead the trajecory seems to be to make desktops more like mobile devices (though I advocate quick GUI access to most everything on these also). But which is not the case in Windows, apart from customization, nor in the many Linux distros I have found (which can be more of a problem).

But thank God for the tools we have to be used for Good and the glory of God, and for those who provide them.

W/11 Default Start menu>All apps

W.11Start

Versus OpenShell W/11:

OpenShellStart

Right Click Extender (some additions):

R.ClkExtnder

7+Taskbar Tweaker (stacks open pages from same source, etc.):

7+TaskbarTweaker-W.11

60 posted on 04/19/2022 5:01:35 PM PDT by daniel1212 (Turn to the Lord Jesus as a damned+destitute sinner, trust Him to save U + be baptized + follow Him!)
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