I would much rather die than be here on earth in this cesspool."
So why would God allow you to enter Heaven, His abode, without removing your sins through faith in Christ and what He provided at the Cross? Without removal of your sins, you would simply make Heaven a cesspool.
I know what you were trying to say, but Heaven will never be a cesspool as God will not grant access to it by anyone tainted by sin. He loves His Son and honors His Sons sacrifice too much for anything short of perfect, undefiled holiness to enter in.
Just as Paul described, I then went to a higher Heaven or Third Heaven. It was even brighter and more intense Love than the lower Heaven.
Why me? I have no idea... I should say that it was more “in spite of me” rather than “because of me.”
I entered the fire and went right through. Never fully returned. It’s like a part of me is still there.