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U.S. and Canada Christmas Threatened. Santa Claus Detained at Northern Quebec Checkpoint
A few beers ^ | 12/24/21 | Rebelbase

12/24/21 (AP) Canadian authorities in Quebec Province announced this evening that they have detained Santa Claus for failure to produce COVID-19 vaccination documents and a negative COVID test which are required to enter the country.

With heavy snow falling it was reported that the large, white-bearded man became irate with border police and hurled insults in French at the officials. Border Police Sgt. Pierre Delecto said, “The gentleman was extremely upset and let us know. I have not heard such vile language since Rob Ford was Mayor of Toronto. He mockingly added an ‘eh’ to every sentence and he even insulted the Prime Minister and said Poutine was a disgusting food”.

Canada requires documentation of vaccine status and a negative COVID test within the prior 72 hours to enter the country. “We can provide a rapid test here at the border but I fear the gentleman will not like it as we are all out of oral swab kits and will have to use ana… uh, er, the other orifice swab”, Sgt. Delecto said.

As of this article post time the authorities have received vaccination documents via email from the North Pole. The rapid COVID test had not yet been performed due to strong protest from Mr. Claus whom the officials continue to probe as to the reasons for his reluctance. “Hopefully, in the end, he will take the swab,” said Sgt. Delecto.

As the hours dragged on with no resolution to the dilema Mr. Claus complained of being hungry. “We got him an order of Poutine from Tim Horton’s”, Sgt. Delecto said with a grin.

Bales of Lichen moss were flown in and fed to the famous reindeer who seemed to be enjoying a rest from their extensive journey.

A potential regulatory problem looms if the detainment is extended. Canadian Law allows an exemption from custom duties on the goods Mr. Claus transports into the country between 6:00pm December 24 and 6:00 am December 25. If Mr. Claus’ cargo has not cleared the country during those hours, it will be subject to seizure until the customs taxes are paid.

CBC News executives, at a Christmas Eve party attended by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, appealed to the PM to address the situation with a live-news crew outside but he refused due to wearing blackface at the time.

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