MSM:
We will give you live coverage of these mostly peaceful BLM protesters crossing the road. Any incidents of cars running into the protesters will naturally be documented as a hate crime. Against a protected class of chickens.
We will also give you live coverage of the Jan 6 insurrectionists taking over the chicken building crossing the road quizzically, waiting for the pedestrian green light somehow giving racist signals to proceed.
Reagan: The chicken crossed the road because on the side of the road he was at there's no freedom.
Ron Paul: The CIA made the chicken cross the road to bomb the Trade Center.
Rand Paul: The chicken crossed the road to undermine yours and mine Constitutional Rights.
Nick Saban: The chicken crossed the road because he didn't want to work The Process.
Nancy Pelosi: I prayed to Peter and he told me to tax the chicken for crossing the road in case a rooster wants to become a hen.
Fauci: The chicken is unamerican if he crossed the road without wearing a mask and being vaccinated. Unless the chicken was an illegal alien crossing the border. Then he's safe for us.
Public Teacher: The chicken crossed the road to protest in person schools.
Xi: The chicken lost points on his social credit score for unauthorized crossing of the road.
Pope: Whatever Xi said.