Virtual particles are weird to begin with, but get worse when you look at force messenger virtual particles. It almost feels like a really lazy solution to the problems that come up (e.g. inability to transmit forces inside a sufficient gravity well - oh but wait nevermind, because Feynman said virtual particles don’t need to obey any rules in nature except causality.)
“It almost feels like a really lazy solution to the problems that come up”
More like mathematical shorthand than a lazy solution. We can describe the phenomenon with the same math that works to describe particles, so we use it. Same as with “pseudoparticles” like phonons.
Personally, I think in the end we’ll figure out that the “real” particles are exactly the same, just emergent phenomenon of wave/field mechanics that we can describe as particles in certain situations for expediency.