"Laaadies and gentlemen, and derps of all ages. Step right up. I have wonders beyond compare, the likes of which few men have seen and lived to tell the tale.
The bearded lady, Madame Moochelle. The world's fattest man, Nadler the Obese. Jo-Jo the dog-faced pony soldier.
And wonder of wonders, brought all the way here from the deepest jungles of the dark continent...Lurker Man, the missing link.
Watch as he feeds on the flesh of offal. See him contort his own body to suckle himself. Count the hairs on his back. Recoil at his serpents breath.
Step right up, just one shiny nickle".
