When you have been told that your whole life, it is not something you can change easily.
My previous post mentioned a black person that married into my family. He truly believed that all cops would kill him for any reason.
It took a long time for him to realize the cops in my home town will harass you for out of state plates, but could care less about the color of your skin. Expired tags? Yeah they will key up on that but if you behave rationally they are not going to shoot you.
But that guy had been told by his parents and grandparents that all cops were going to kill him. So stopping that belief is very difficult.
Thus Chris Rock’s classic skit on how not to get beat up by the police.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj0mtxXEGE8
... which is actually good advice to anyone of any race.
And, building on Rock’s comedy, if you think the cops are out to get you for being black wouldn’t you also believe that they’d be more likely to believe anything your angry white wife said?