"Payment Status - Not Available We are unable to provide the status of your payment right now because: We don't have enough information yet (we're working on this), or You're not eligible for a payment."
[But what it did not say - yet - is:] "We don't have enough information yet" means that our records show that you are a frequent contributor of hateful rhetoric (contending for Biblical Truth and values) on a Internet entity called "Free Republic," a site which is known to foster homophobia (opposing the pronounced promotion of a practice that sends many souls to an early grave and an eternal fire), misogyny (opposing abortion), Islamophobic (describing Islam as a faith that advocates religious physical bloodshed), racial discrimination (promoting meritocracy, with character and ability determining employment versus skin color), and supporting domestic terrorism (advocating for the Second Amendment and voting integrity).
Therefore your eligibility is in question pending further review, while as an added measure of security all financial transactions by you are being placed on hold. You may inquire further by calling 666-666-6666, at which time you may pledge allegiance to the New World Order of LGBTPCNOWCCPAOCQRSXYZ rights and receive your special ID by which you can resume engaging in commerce activities.
eeek. I don’t think we’re quite at that point ... yet (there’s that word). I can assure you that if that were the case I would have never received the money. :)