I have a black female friend, let’s say her name is Jean. I met her a couple hears ago. Very attractive, well dressed, intelligent from a good home. Never married, in her 40s.
She told me when we met that when it comes to men, she prefers cream than to drink it black. SHe has black male friends, but when it comes to dating going out etc. it’s always with white men.
Okay, so we’re not dating, but she would call me two to three times a week to meet for a drink that usually led to dinner, that always led to me paying for it.
I didn’t mind, but I started to take note that she was always the one asking me out, and yet she never offered to pay.
Anyway, one day I was at the bar at the restaurant we frequent, and got to talking to the bartender who I’d known for many years before I had met Jean. I asked her if Jean ever paid for the meals she had when she was with friends.
I was kinda shocked to learn, that she didn’t and almost never tipped. Zero.
It has to be based on a cultural norm.
Most of my friends growing up worked in a “tip” environment at one time or another. If not directly, they had a sister or girlfriend or buddy who worked as a waitstaff.
You learned pretty quickly what was expected and why. And certainly my mom and sister had been waitresses. They let me know what to do.
As more people integrate into that workforce, it is “learned.”
There used to be a place in town that had only black waiters—this was in the 70’s. They were very high end. The service was impeccable. These guys raked in cash every night. So, clearly these guys “got it.”
I am sure there have been studies on this. It is a curiosity.