“I am sorry, but that is an absolute physical impossibility.”
To quote Katharine Hepburn in The African Queen: “Nevertheless.”
“There were no fat people in concentration camps.”
It is possible that the cause(s) of this condition only came into being after WWII...you know, during the cold war.
“I can guarantee you that if I were to drop you off on a desert island, and pick you up in a month you would be considerably smaller”
Well, now, that’s a good reason to wish for wealth. If I were able, I would participate in your experiment, just for the amusement of seeing your jaw drop.
Thanks for providing an amusing discussion this morning. It is too bad that you could not have met my wife at some time after your “metabolism went sideways”.
When I met her she was a nurse, taught nutrition classes, was brought in to run the “fat boy” programs at two local military bases and was the “Northwest Regional Aerobics Dance Instructor Champion”. We used to get stopped all the time by normal sized people who could not stop thanking her for helping them lose weight and keep it off.
I can't tell you how many people that we talked to who had stories similar to yours. Even my elderly uncle who was morbidly obese for many decades and use to make us laugh with the same EXACT type of amusing story... managed to lose hundreds of pounds when his doctor told him he either needed to reduce his size or die.
Running has always been the absolute worst way even for young fat people to exercise. It is no wonder you failed trying to lose weight using running as a way to increase your metabolism. It almost always ends in failure. Your story is cute but not accurate even if you have convinced yourself that you are doomed to be fat forever out of frustration. You need to visit a professional nutritionist who specializes in weight loss. In your case it might even be worthwhile to consider a laparoscopic adjustable gastric band, commonly called a lap-band.
Although you may believe that you would gain weight drinking water and eating nothing that is a bet that even you know at some level is not true. You do need professional assistance or your life is not going to be as enjoyable as it could be and probably much shorter than it could be.