Ive worn a kilt quite often....Only problem with that chair is the wood is generally cold.
It seems the comforts provided for the cucumber and kiwis would be negated by what appears to be a ridge that would wedge between the buns. It looks to me like cold would be the least problem.
Yeah, my first thought was “ouch, me hemis”!
...Look a little hopeful to me, but then again, I'm a girl and we wear things under our kilts!