“I’m hard pressed to think of any wild animal I’d pet”
Well, squirrels are pretty harmless and about 99.9% rabies free. If they do bite you, though, even by accident, those front teeth feel like a couple of big hypodermic needles stabbing you.
When our kids were little about 25 years ago, we were on a hike in Yosemite. We were taking a rest and a little chipmunk began pestering us for food. I kept shooing it away (fleas, bites, diseases, etc) but he was persistent. Finally I picked up a small pebble and tossed it at him.
Wouldn’t you know it, I beaned him in the head. He flopped over and went into serious convulsions. All three kids started screaming at me “Dad, look what you’ve done! We have to get him to the hospital! That poor little guy wasn’t hurting anybody! Why would you do that?” My wife was really giving me the stink-eye about now.
After a minute of flopping around, convulsing, and thrashing, he shook it off and walked away, rather wobbly on his feet.
I figure he was a pro soccer or basketball player in a previous life.
My three kids all still hold it against me.