"I did not live up to my own standards."
"As soon as I found out what I did, I assigned members of my staff to investigate me and discover the real facts. Until that investigation is complete, I will be having no further comment on this matter."
“I am a gay American.”
It is actually shocking how official and believable that sounds.
I made up a bureaucratic wall slogan a few years back after I heard a bureaucrat say it almost word for word:
We have a preliminary indication
But there's an ongoing investigation;
So we won't comment on the situation
Until we have further information.
That was the incident commander's word to the press after a passenger train, going too fast through Philadelphia, wrecked, with some loss of life and not a few injuries.