I wonder what Butt-egg-egg meant by his “combat training” which he said he did in South Carolina. I thought that he was a direct commission. Maybe he learned how to fire a gun.
Don't know details of the Army's training of those people but all I'd do is tell 'em to listen up for orders and as soon as bad stuff starts go immediately for cover and don't come out until told do do so.
I wouldn't leave him alone with sharp-pointy scissors. Don't even ask about any kind of weapon.