I've adapted this joke I'd heard many years ago, for use with Islam, but here's the original as I remember it -- during a gig, a musician was playing in a bar in Canada, and suddenly in the darkness, in English with a brogue, someone bellowed, "aw, shut ya gob!" then the two descendants of Scotland started bustin' up the place. As the musician put it, they were locked in their lifelong struggle with their mortal enemy -- other Scots. Hey, it's okay for me to hit my own... :^)
Any relation to clan Malarkey?
A chieftain’s daughter seemed the maid;
Her satin snood, her silken plaid,
Her golden brooch, such birth betrayed.
And seldom was a snood amid
Such wild luxuriant ringlets hid,
Whose glossy black to shame might bring
The plumage of the raven’s wing;
And seldom o’er a breast so fair
Mantled a plaid with modest care,
And never brooch the folds combined
Above a heart more good and kind.