I could do with more punny headings, personally.
My fave is “Ike Beats Tina to Death”.
As for Cilla, she could plant stronger scent flowers and get noise cancelling headphones, or move.
You have to be able to come up with these headlines in your sleep to work for the Post and similar tabloids. One concerned people walking a tightrope one at a time over a South Korean river. The headline? “Skywalkers Cross Han Solo.”