That is why we do not eat at restaurants very much anymore. Too many bad experiences have convinced us that in general it is just too risky for my wife. There is also the issue of ingredients such as worcestershire sauce and others which most people do not realize are partially made from fish products.
That’s the best decision.
I work in a restaurant and if someone has a deadly allergy, it’s extremely difficult to avoid cross contamination. Chefs have an intense job-super fast pace and perfection are requirements that make it a pretty stressful occupation. Adding the responsibility for someone’s life due to the possibility of an allergic reaction due to cross contamination is, IMO, asking a bit too much. I say this as a mother who carries epipens for my son’s nut allergy.