I am so sorry for your loss, NIKK!
There isn’t much I can say to make you feel better,
but please know that in the woods of Maine, this old
leftover hippie type gal (but Conservative now) is lifting
you up in prayers and healing from this tremendous hurt.
You are treasured and loved my Friend.
leaving you a beautiful song called “One More Light”
Hanky alert..you will need one, but tears heal, they really do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kaUvGSLMew