Northam chronological run-down
1. I made an oopsie.
2. It wasn’t my oopsie. I submitted all the photos on the yearbook page, except the offensive one.
3. I might have made an oopsie in the past, but it was an homage to – what’s his name – oh yeah, Michael Jackson. I LOVE MOONWALKING.
4. Upon reflection and consultation last night, the offensive photo is absolutely not me, my med school comrades back me up.
5. My nickname was Coonman, I don’t know why.
6. I’m committed to climate change, so we kewl now.
7. I will not resign.
8. I am correcting the record (thank you, David Brock).
9. I’m a strong believer in God, my Pastor is attending my political press conference. (but killing babies is Godly)
10. I’m always honest.
11. I’m really, really close to my wonderful black Lt. Governor who continues to support me.
12. I was lectured about black-face after being in medical school. Only after the lecture, I understood it was wrong although I’ve grown up around LOTS of black people.
13. I live by a code.
14. I’ve never drunk enough booze to “not be in touch with my surroundings.” (a lawyer phrase if I’ve ever heard one)
15. I take responsibility.
16. Oppo research shouldn’t include yearbook evidence. (unless you’re Brett Kavanaugh)
17. I’ve fought long and hard against racial bigotry.
18. I’ve made mistakes, but this stir-up isn’t me.
19. I’m a great pediatrician. I LOVE KIDS. (unless they’re late-term aborted, then they’re garbage sold for scrap)