George: We discussed toilet paper.
Jerry: Toilet paper?
George: Yeah, I told her how toilet paper hasn’t changed in my lifetime, and probably wouldn’t change in the next fifty thousand years and she was fascinated, fascinated!
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: Toilet paper’s changed.
Elaine: Yeah.
Jerry: It’s softer.
Elaine: Softer.
Jerry: More sheets per roll
Elaine: Sheets.
Jerry: Comes in a wide variety of colors.
Elaine: Colors.
George: Ok, ok, fine! It’s changed, it’s not really the point.
GEORGE: What did they do for toilet paper in the civil war?
JERRY: What?
GEORGE: I wonder what toilet paper was loike in the 1860’s. Did they carry it in rolls in their duffle bags?
JERRY: Everything with you comes down to toilet paper.
GEORGE: What?
JERRY: That’s always the first question with you. Why is that always your focus?
GEORGE: All right, so what did they do?
JERRY: I don’t know. Maybe they gave out fig leaf clumps to all the soldiers.
GEORGE: Well I think it would be nice if there was some kind of historical record of it.
JERRY: Maybe they should have a toilet paper museum. Would you like that? So we could see all the toilet paper advancements down through the ages. Toilet paper of the Crusades, the development of the perforation, the first six-pack . . .