Posted on 06/17/2018 1:27:57 PM PDT by sodpoodle
love ya Sod
Here’s another one for you Sac:)
Grandma’s boyfriend
A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,
‘Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?’
Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.
I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.
The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh
... I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.’
Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.
She started
Adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma’s minister.
The minister said, ‘Hello son, is your Grandma home?’
The little boy replied, ‘Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.’
The minister fainted.
kudos...best yet!!
Hi, Fred, this is Richard, next door. Ive got a confession to make.
Ive been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. At least Im telling you in this text and I cant live with myself a minute longer without you knowing about this. The truth is that when youre not around Ive been sharing your wife, day and night. In fact, probably much more than you. I havent been getting it at home recently and I know that thats no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I cant live with the guilt and hope youll accept my sincere apology and forgive me. Please suggest a fee for usage and Ill pay you. Regards, Richard NEIGHBORS RESPONSE: Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot Richard killing him. He went back home and poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Fred then looked at his phone and discovered a second Text message from Richard. SECOND TEXT MESSAGE: Hi, Fred. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out and noticed that the damned Auto-Spell Correct had changed wi-fi" to wife. Technology, huh? Itll be the death of us all. Regards, Richard
And the engineer sdked, “Well, why can’t they play at night?”
Sending this one to a few folks.....Sac
What’s the definition of “endless love”?
Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.
LMAO
Hahaha! Good one!
Nice:D
****And the engineer sdked, Well, why cant they play at night?*****
The engineer did not know how to spell - so the game was cancelled:)
LOL!
Good one!!
The subject of stopping the eruption of the Hawaiian volcano has come up.
According to ancient Hawaiian tradition, the quickest way to appease Pele, the Hawaiian goddess of fire, and end the volcanic eruptions, is to make a human sacrifice into her fires. According to tradition, that needs to be a celebrated leader who was born in Hawaii and held a position of power for at least 8 years.
Barack Obama quickly announced he was actually born in Kenya, and has the Birth Certificate to prove it.
Yes - your little nugget had been circulating on the Internet and whaddayahknow - Hawaii’s volcano seems to have disappeared from the headlines.
Thx TT
very good. thanks!
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