HEART
She came to us in need of shelter, care, love Which we were happy to supply in abundance; A couple who's special lot in life was To care for those creatures of God who could not care for themselves; And God, with a wisdom man can glimpse only in the most unusual, Most startling, and most unexpected moments; Knew she was to be ours
Sasha A big dog; Way too big; Norwegian Elk Hound; Now so big, clearly a Norwegian Chow Hound; Raised and maintained on a diet of red meat and sugar By someone who loved too well and cared too little; Come to us after her master's untimely death; Shy, fearful, but so friendly and wanting friends; Painful, but brave; Her heart the biggest part of her
Slowly finding her places in her new home; A place to eat; a carpet to lie down upon; A place to be safe, to love again in safety; Near the recliner which most often held A loving human with kind hands; A place in the hierarchy of eight cats and another dog Who, despite his small stature, let her know who was Top Dog; And she, while never contradicting him, let us know With a doggie wink, a wig-wigging tail, and open-mouthed smile That she was really In Command
And so the few slow years sped by Heavy years, with a force of more than just The Earth's gravitational pull; Force equals mass times acceleration, The scientists tell us; But what can science tell us of the force Of destiny? The mass of care? The acceleration of time? A force also of congenital problems Common to those of her breed; And it became ever more difficult to walk To climb the stairs To do those small things every creature takes for granted Until taken from them; Until the joy of taking walks with her mistress Became only memories; Until it hurt just to move And medications became ever less effective In easing the pain But almost never a complaint from Sasha And , if you closed your eyes and listened Closely, we could hear her: >P> "You gave me a home and I love you with all my heart. After all your kindness it would be unseemly for me to now complain of a few aches and pains. Worse, it would be undignified."
And as we all know, a dog's dignity is special.
Yet, something had to be done, And something was; Calls were made; Consultations were held; Fears expressed; Reassurances given; A common operation; Little chance of any problems; And a plan of action put in motion; A Mission undertaken; And well-planned missions, we are taught from childhood, Must end in success One's heart must be obeyed
Then, things going terribly wrong The operation botched, complications, Intensive care; Terrible scars; Tubes and lines and Devices of frightening mechanicability; Her breath coming in hitches; A very sick Sasha peering at us through the Plexiglas oxygen cage; Oh, merciful God! How could this happen To our girl?! To your girl?! One last doggie smile between Labored breaths, I love you Thank you for your kindness Goodbye Then turning away Please don't watch me die And we did as she asked For in those things which matter most The heart knows best what to ask And how to answer
Some years ago in another hospital Waiting out another crisis A nurse said that she had seen many die; And that when someone died they never, ever Voiced regret over not having spent more time at the office, Or on the golf course, Or shopping, Or doing any of the things we find so important in health; No, she said The only regret the dying ever expressed to her Was in not spending more time With those to whom Their heart went out
And so we brought you home, Sashi-girl, In an urn; To be with us If only in death; If even in death; Your heart still beats strong in the house; A heart of courage; Of selflessness; Of gratitude; Of love;
And now in the quiet evening As I sit just before bed, I catch a glimpse of something At just the edge of vision; A doggy smile; A curled tail wig-wigging in happiness; A wave of love -- "I'm still here, Master;" And I go to bed Holding her spirit close, Feeling her valiant heart beat strong, And it keeps me warm all through the night.
For Sasha, January, 2001
Thank you for sharing your pain. That was beautiful. I so much appreciate it.