It’s not even slightly plausible. It’s a religiously-driven article of faith.
The most plausible explanation is that the theory of gravity, as we know it today, is not correct.
“Dark matter” is what you get when Occam’s Razor spends a dozen years as an ISIS sex slave. It’s absolutely beyond obscene that dark matter is taken seriously as a proposal.
I’ll leave you to your weird metaphors and overheated rhetoric. My knowledge is in the scientific area.