If they really are out to get you, thats not paranoia.
If they really arent out to end slavery within your borders, but you secede because you think they are, that IS paranoia.
Now what about those drastic social changes?
Attributing false motives to others is Lying. Congress and the President could have done nothing further to assure them that they weren't going to end slavery than this:

Now what about those drastic social changes?
The Union didn't want them either, as demonstrated by Missouri, Kentucky, Maryland, and Delaware. Of course, for some reason, no one was talking about applying them to states on the Union side, only those who would leave it.
Why do you suppose there was no effort to make any massive social changes in Maryland? They had the army right there, and it would have been so very easy, wouldn't it?