read the rest of the satire, fool:
I am not a semi-retired lying, cheating, thieving weasel fer-left reprobate immoral liberal Washington Democrat ambulance-chasing lawyer.
I am a semi-retired lying, cheating, thieving weasel Conservative Washington Constitution-preserving, church elder, learned Republican Legal Counsel.
You musta been a paper shuffler, cause you don't show very good argumentation skills. I bet you settled out of court a lot, right? I just can't see you as a courtroom advocate with those lame skills.
Nothin' personal, pops.