As I told my son when he announced that he wanted to go meet his long-gone mother, “Why? Do you actually think that selfish bi*** will apologize after all these years?”
I’m not trying to be cruel/demeaning to your mother, but if she abandoned her child, you should have gotten the message.
You both missed the point. Although I can’t speak for all abandoned children, I suspect many would have the same or similar outlooks as me. I have an unassuaged anger toward her. Although I’ll never get answers, I yearn for them. She didn’t give me up for adoption. She just left me and my father, who promptly handed me off to one relative and caregiver after another until I was old enough to warehouse in an all girls Catholic boarding school. It was barely one step up from an orphanage and, if you’ve ever done any reading about how cold and cruel nuns could be to the children in their care, you’d know what my childhood was like. So I never wanted a relationship with my mother. I wanted answers and an outlet for my anger. I am an older woman now and she must be long gone, so it is what it is.