I think (not my field, just my observation) that addicts lack basic coping skills.
That would sort of align with the argument you put forth.
I think it is complicated and varies from person to person. I have coping skills, a career, family and a life and used to just drink socially. Before I knew it, I was hiding alcohol, lying about how much I was consuming and having problems with almost every aspect of my life. Since alcohol was impacting me negatively and putting me in contact with law enforcement, I had to really evaluate how I had gotten to that point. So I decided to give up drinking altogether and I credit AA with getting me where I needed to be. Severn years sober for me. I have never tried any hard drugs and wouldn’t, but it isn’t much of a leap to see myself hooked on something. Scares me still.
.for one.....lack of contentment....
people just can not be happy and its deliberate...because only you can make yourself happy and content..
That would sort of align with the argument you put forth.
True. However, that could, for some, be far too glib and surface level of understanding.
WHY do addicts lack basic coping skills?
Clearly it is because of a wholesale lack of SUFFICIENT AMOUNT AND QUALITY of lavish affectionate love and being cherished for who they are vs their performance.
For example, my housemate's dad and step-dad were both quite insensitive and very harsh. His blood dad DEMANDED that all close to him, including his employees GUESS what he wanted done; GUESS when he wanted it done and GUESS how he wanted it done. Then he blamed all them for rapid turnover.
My housemate early on concluded there was no way to please either dad and mostly gave up trying.
Miraculously, in spite of his Jr High Principal declaring after he was the one BEING BULLIED, that he'd be in prison before he was 18 years old--he was never in trouble beyond one parking ticket and one speeding ticket--the latter on his honey moon. Further, he managed to get a high quality PhD in Clinical Psych.
So, the point I'm trying to make is that the lack of coping skills are rooted in the lack of affirming bonding--in our humble opinions--particularly with a loving Dad--the first 6-8 years of life.
And it can take years to overcome that lack with a good array of solid coping habits.