That’s just baloney.....my gosh I didn’t ‘feel’ loved as a child and never resorted to drugs.....and there’s plenty more like me......Sick and tired of hearing all the lame excuses used for drug addictions...
How about ‘they’ put it in their mouth...or ‘they’ shot it up with their own two hands.....
Play with fire you are going to get burned....it’s not like the warnings haven’t been out their for decades.
I think you have failed to understand my points sufficiently well. But I’m about out of gas tonight so maybe another day.
We did not say that EVERY RAD afflicted individual resorted to drugs. There's a long list of other addictions:
--workaholism--are you 100% free of that?
--OCD--are you 100% free of that?
--rage-aholism--are you 100% free of that?
--overeating--are you 100% free of that?
--exercise addiction--are you 100% free of that?
--caffine addiction--are you 100% free of that?
--sugar addiction--are you 100% free of that?
--violence addiction--are you 100% free of that?
--sex addiction--are you 100% free of that?
--thrill-seeking addiction--which seems to have an added genetic component--are you 100% free of that?
--chronic rebelliousness--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive talking--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive anxiety--perhaps even paranoia--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive perfectionism--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive blaming, judgmental-ism, projecting, rationalizing--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive emotional, verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse--are you 100% free of that?
--compuulsive brittleness, thin-skinned-ness, combativeness--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive speeding--are you 100% free of that?
--compulsive living dangerously--tempting fate relentlessly--a type of thrill-seeking--are you 100% free of that?
etc. etc. etc.
IF you are 100% free of all those, then you are an extremely rare individual.
Where do you think our habits arise out of?
Such habits do not arise out of a vacuum without any precursors!
As the former head of New York Psychiatric Hospital--Dr Murray Banks asserted relentlessly: THERE IS NO HUMAN BEHAVIOR WITHOUT A REASON. {search youtube for great talks by him}
There ARE REASONS seriously RAD afflicted individuals tend to become addicts of one sort or another at one level or another. And RAD is a big part of those reasons.
CERTAINLY we all have responsibility for a given choice at a given moment on a given day. Nevertheless, those habits have origins. And wisdom understands and works with, wrestles with those origins and reasons--and doesn't deny them and pretend they don't exist.
Have there never been any habits in your life that you found difficult to impossible to break? If so, then you are an extremely rare individual.
As the OP article outlined, early comfort seeking--a rather normal part of being human--results in seeking comfort and avoiding pain. An individual who failed to do either would be seriously damaged in some aspect or another.
And, such behaviors form deeply grooved neural pathways, connections, feedback loops, dopamine loops in the brain. WHEN the child is healthy amidst intensely, faithfully, lavishly affectionate parents, those pathways are largely healthy. Their resulting choices and habits are largely, overwhelmingly healthy and balanced--contextually fitting.
WHEN the child is subjected to poor parenting in such matters, those brain grooves and loops become dysfunctional wherein the child desperately, vainly flails about trying to find SOMETHING to bring comfort, decrease the pain.
Usually it is some sort of addiction that fills and fits those needs to a limited but persistent degree. Limited because addictions do not bring deep lasting relief but only put a dysfunctional band-aid on the problems of comfort-seeking and pain.
How about ‘they’ put it in their mouth...or ‘they’ shot it up with their own two hands.....
If you are the first to never do any such thing in a dysfunctional way--then you are one of the first near perfect human beings we've ever come across.
Play with fire you are going to get burned....it’s not like the warnings haven’t been out their for decades.
Who said all this was 100% rational? Are you implying or asserting that you have never ignored warnings that have relentlessly stared you in the face--or even slapped you up-side the face painfully?
Did you ever ignore speed limits? Did you ever get a ticket for speeding? Did you ever speed again?
The patterns deeply ingrained the first years of life in the child's desperate search for comfort and avoidance of pain become extremely deep rooted. They are pervasive influences of behavior over the whole of the person's daily life interactions and isolated times. They affect virtually every area of the individual's life--consciously and unconsciously.
At what point in compulsive behavior formation does the matter of "choice" greatly diminish to functionally nothing? Where in the compulsion to eat a whole carton of ice cream has "choice" diminished far too much to claim the person is 100% in control of that choice?
My housemate can eat one spoon of ice cream and leave it for days or even weeks--virtually always eating only one to 3 spoons of it at a time. I tend to eat the whole carton if I start on it. Then, embarrassed yet again, I have to rush out and get him another one--hopefully before he discovers it gone.
Am I in "control" of my ice cream eating choices and actions? Yes and no.
My housemate, on the other hand, seemingly CANNOT avoid scratching his skin--relentlessly searching for bug bites, any kind of bump or imperfection to scratch off. He has tried a long list of remedies to little to no avail. Is he in "control" of his relentlessly scratching? Yes and no. He's often not even aware of starting to do it again.
We think that his harsh mother frequently yelling at him to "stop it" was one of the few intense bits of attention she gave him--thereby reinforcing the habit.
Empathy and compassion without enabling are wise for all of us.