“There were reasons why they chose to build a new stadium.”
The Top Ten Reasons to build a new stadium in Atlanta:
10. There was nothing wrong with the existing stadium.
9. It was a great excuse to close MLK, Jr. Drive.
8. Who needs an historic church anyway?
7. A circular Jumbotron!
6. The spiffy roof probably won’t leak too much.
5. Saves on storage costs for the $600m the taxpayers would have had for roads, parks, schools, and etc.
4. The new place has TWO Chick-fil-A restaurants! Too bad they’re closed on Sundays!
3. It’s a beautiful monument to graft and corruption.
2. It’s got a sunroof!
1. It’ll be a fitting venue for the next time the Yankees (actually, the Patriots) burn Atlanta!