“Aha, the strawberries, that’s where I had them. They laughed at me. But I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt and with geometric logic that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox did exist. I’d have produced that key if they didn’t pull the USS Caine out of action.” — In the Caine Mutiny, Captain Queeg, while fondling steel balls in his hand
This right here is why I STILL call McCain McQueeg. I read it here first, a long time ago and wish with all of my heart that it had been me who came up with it.