Posted on 05/14/2017 1:33:01 PM PDT by SamAdams76
They just don't.
In my high school years, I was Richie Cunningham. The earnest young boy from "Happy Days" who always was looking to please others, especially the adults in his life.
As a result, we were walked all over, taken advantage of and subsequently, not dated by girls.
Now Richie Cunningham might have had a girlfriend or two during the fictitious "Happy Days" run but in my real-life Richie Cunningham phase, I had zero girlfriends. I did have several dates that went disastrously wrong because I thought dating was all about being a nice guy. It wasn't.
During that phase, my date would go something like this: I would drive to the girl's house in my dad's '76 baby-blue Chrysler Newport and do the obligatory meeting with the girl's dad. I'd talk about my college plans, maybe the military. I'd tell him about my job at the supermarket bagging groceries and shagging carts and assuring him that the movie I was taking his daughter to was PG rated. I could almost see the dad subconsciously tagging me as a loser and telling me to just bring his daughter home "at a reasonable hour."
Then once I got the girl in the car, I would ask her what she wanted to do. She'd look at me like I had three heads and reply, shrugging, that she would do whatever I wanted to do. So we'd end up seeing some PG rated movie that sucked (think "Kramer vs Kramer" or "Jazz Singer" with Neil Diamond) and would have an awkward nightcap at some Denny's or Friendly's over some grilled cheese and a milkshake. During all this, I'd try to work up conversation but saying I was all in with "women's lib" and that I think that women are better than men in just about every way. I'd ask her about her favorite band and that band just happened to be my favorite band too. Even if it was Abba or the Bee Gees. Then I'd talk about my baseball card collection or how I like to walk along the beach at low tide and toss clams back into the ocean so that they don't die. Once the night was over, she'd shake my hand and tell me that she had a good time and we should do this again sometime. Except she'd never call me, would avoid me in the high school hallway and would never return my calls.
In my Richie Cunningham phase, I never even got to first base. Either it was a total strikeout or a foul pop up out.
It was then that I realized that girls don't like nice boys. I had just joined the Marine Corps and was about to go into boot camp so I had nothing to lose. Just after graduation, I asked a girl on a date and decided to be a total jerk. I refused to meet with her father and insisted she just come to the car. I took her to see "The Shining" with Jack Nicholson starring. She loved it. We went to a real restaurant afterwards and I ordered her meal plus a seven & seven for both of us even though we were not old enough to drink yet. She loved it.
We spent the next two hours necking at the beach before I took her home, well after midnight. She started ringing me up the morning afterwards asking if we could go out again. I didn't return her call for two days. Finally I called and she answered on the very first ring. This was way before cell phones so she was basically sitting at home waiting for me to call.
I was Richie Cunningham no more.
I am a degreed engineer who makes broadcast television stations sing. I am a very funny conservative. I used to be a comedy writer for episodic television. I make a damn good living and have a grown son and a 13 year old daughter. My ex wife decided that a dope smoking half-wit 13 years her junior was a better future. Three arrests later he broke up with her.
Women look through me like I am not even there.
Women SAY they want a nice guy, date the exact opposite and then have the temerity to complain there are no nice guys left. They get all the abuse that CHOOSE to have by their actions. And they’ll never learn..
Agreed, I’m glad high school wasn’t my high-water mark. While you’re in it, it all seems like a big deal. Looking back on it, high school isn’t jack. The Big Man on Campus usually winds up with a pretty mundane life.
Sometimes, a carrot is just a carrot.
Without reading the comments first I’m going to opine.
Decent women like decent men.
What did you do “wrong” as Richie Cunningham?
You did not “take charge.” Your politeness was possibily misunderstood as dithering or uncertainly.
May I say? We like CERTAIN men. DECIDED men. Men who know what they want to do.
That’s my opinion. Marine Corps wise you were perceived of as a MAN (not a boy) - why ‘cause you were in the Corps which is HUGE, older and more filled out and all, and, you acted very decisive.
Only messed up women, or nasty women, like jerks. It does not pay to be a jerk.
Churches and governments like nice boys - when they need money or labor. Other than that, nice boys haven’t got much of a receptive audience in any part of human existence. :)
I think you are spot on!
THINK FEEL
Everybody thinks & feels, but for mating ...
Female mates feel more than think.
Males think more than feel.
Choose one over the other the first year, so you both do not step on each other’s feet.
That’s Rich!
My daughter went on two dates with a boy who “seemed” very nice. They were both volunteering at Cub Scout camp, and he was very polite to me and friendly with the younger siblings. However, when they actually went out, he couldn’t keep his hands to himself.
So in summary, maybe we just have different definitions of “nice.”
I has been known, in my family, that there were left handed relationships, as in stand up before the Parish and admit this base born child as yours. I joined an English genealogy group of very distant relations that confirms some of these.
It seems that my families merchant wanderings led to some unexpected surprises.
Eddie Haskell.
You’re right. I was a bad boy in HS. No problems getting dates but one that I wanted to date was captain of the cheerleading squad. We were friends but that’s as far as it went.
Fast forward 30+ years. I reformed. Nice guy. Courteous and respectful like all conservatives :)
Went to my high school reunion. Newly divorced. Re-met captain of cheerleaders. Turns out she was also divorced. We hit it off right away and have been together ever since. :)
I often found a way to “flash some cash” while paying the bill or leaving the tip. Panties came off quickly after that. Not good marriage material though.
You nailed it, FRiend.
Me, I’m a 59-year-old retired editor, lifelong bachelor, and about as straight as you can get.
Around age 30, I was confronted with the choice between marriage and family versus pursuing my extremely interesting but not very remunerative career as a newspaperman.
Looking back, celibacy was a small price to pay for seeing things and talking to people I never would have had access to in any other career.
Now that I have taken early retirement, I can enjoy a degree of peace and quiet that “family guys” never get.
Again, I think that’s a small price to pay.
Freedom comes at a price. Pay it willingly.
“I very much think there’s a biological reason for girls liking “bad boys” “
They want to be single moms?
my first boys-only health class was taught by a guy who gave us all we needed to know about how to get girls. It was the 7th grade.
Girls don’t care about how you look. They care first about how you smell, secondly how you think you look. Third, dress like you give a damn.
You folks are most interesting. As a young military man I go a lot of positive attention when going into a McDonalds while in uniform. I was in the warrior class. Nowadays they’re all from Mexico.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.