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Single, childless and nearing 40, I saw one real option
CNN ^ | 04/25/2017 | Sarah Lenti

Posted on 04/26/2017 6:18:53 AM PDT by BJ1

Fast forward to my 38th birthday. I was still single, and the world of dating had changed significantly in the last eight years. Tinder and Bumble, the dominant dating apps, offered countless options for single men and women, but made the experience of dating entirely impersonal.

Dating amounted to small talk with a stranger, who you had briefly interfaced with online because you each thought the other attractive. The small talk was a prelude to hooking up, and there were no expectations even of a text the next day.

It was brutal. And after trying my hand at it, I was no closer to finding the love of my life or starting a family. If I needed statistics to back me up, I had them. In 2014, marriage was on the decline, as was the fertility rate in the United States.

I had one real option left -- and that was to attempt to get pregnant alone.

(Excerpt) Read more at cnn.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Society
KEYWORDS: ivf; lenti; sarah; singlemom
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To: miss marmelstein

Well, that’s nature (or God) for you. It’d be better to chop off the teen years of being able to get pregnant and tack them onto the end when they possess more maturity and perhaps even wisdom. Besides, as for the Mohammadans, a 13-year old girl to them is an old hag.


121 posted on 04/26/2017 7:25:01 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Je Suis Pepe)
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To: miss marmelstein

Not really. They were marrying not much older than that age in early days of the USA. People did not live as long. Thirteen more like 20.


122 posted on 04/26/2017 7:25:20 AM PDT by madison10
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To: RinaseaofDs

The one thing a woman controls is the “sweet thing”. If she holds it back, she loses almost all her leverage with the husband. The promise of sex keeps a man engaged. If she loses that, she finds that he disengages. Pretty soon, he is spending more time “with the guys”. beach trips, hunting trips, etc.
I know because guys talk about it. On a trip, someone will ask “Did your wife give you any resistance?” “What’s she going to do? Stop having sex with me? HAHAHA”. Laughs all around.
If he is getting sex regularly, he doesn’t want to jeopardize that. It weighs on his mind as he makes decisions.
Having an affair is a nightmare unless she doesn’t care. Then it is still a nightmare because any woman they would have an affair with a married man is crazy. And crazy ain’t never worth it.


123 posted on 04/26/2017 7:26:27 AM PDT by AppyPappy (Don't mistake your dorm political discussions with the desires of the nation)
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To: redangus

Actually, all I meant was that men need to be told how to dress. I had to go with my man to buy him his wedding suit - God knows what he would have shown up looking like. He ended up looking just swell.


124 posted on 04/26/2017 7:26:37 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: baltimorepoet

Say what!? My mother was 40 when she had me!


125 posted on 04/26/2017 7:28:37 AM PDT by 4yearlurker (If you work for living,why do you kill yourself working?)
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To: madison10

13 was never 20. I read medieval English history for fun. Margaret Anjou had her first child at 13. Physically, she never recovered.


126 posted on 04/26/2017 7:28:44 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: BJ1

Being childless at 40 is God’s way of telling it’s time to get out of the gene pool.


127 posted on 04/26/2017 7:29:05 AM PDT by central_va (I won't be reconstructed and I do not give a damn.)
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To: Dr.Deth

Yes, they do move around. Take a look at her mother to get an idea of where she’s likely to end up.

Ladies, if you’re 0-5 hot then take a good objective look at what you can do about it - yes, you probably can move up the scale. Many above 5 DID make that choice. I’m forever baffled by one lady who insisted on “I just want to be accepted the way I am” while maintaining an objectively undesirable appearance. Achieving a healthy BMI is probably the biggest factor of all, and is simply a matter of caloric intake vs burn. Most guys really aren’t that picky - so long as you aren’t sabotaging yourself.

Men, there is (or should be) an equivalent graph for males. Looks may not be quite such an issue, but they still matter. Groom. Maintain a healthy BMI. Work out. Earn & save money. Turn off the TV. Be productive.

And yes, unicorns exist.


128 posted on 04/26/2017 7:29:14 AM PDT by ctdonath2 (It's not "white privilege", it's "Puritan work ethic". Behavior begets consequences.)
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To: baltimorepoet
"Nature didn’t intend for women to have babies at age 38."

Totally silly statement. "Nature" "intends" for women to have babies at whatever age nature "allows" women to have babies.

Duh.

129 posted on 04/26/2017 7:29:57 AM PDT by Mrs. Don-o ("With my luck, if I were a politician I would be an honest man." - Rodney Dangerfield)
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To: Stentor

See my post #126.


130 posted on 04/26/2017 7:29:57 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: madison10

Actually, what brought down the average lifespan was a sky-high infant and child mortality rates. Still, many people lived to be just as old as they do now once they reached adulthood. I had ancestors born in the 1700s who made it to or past their 80s. That was longer than my recent grandfathers.


131 posted on 04/26/2017 7:32:10 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (Je Suis Pepe)
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To: miss marmelstein

If you read over the posts written by some of the women here, you would think that they were all supermodels who spend their time reading Bronte (pick one) and Christie. Meanwhile their (ex)husbands are obese gorillas; boors and bums, bounders and cads. If fact, I’m sure a lot of these gals are frumps in need of a few kicks to the tyres. My post is a simple statement of fact.


132 posted on 04/26/2017 7:32:29 AM PDT by NorthMountain (The Democrats ... have lost their grip on reality -DJT)
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To: Mrs. Don-o

Perhaps people are thinking of the first child - as I’m sure you know, it gets more and more dodgy in the 30s. A woman who has had babies throughout her adult life can have a healthy baby at 50.


133 posted on 04/26/2017 7:32:31 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: redangus

“Feminist have convinced these young women that they can screw like rabbits with no consequences as long as Abortion and birth control are free and available and young horny men have gladly taken advantage of that....”

Well said. Mutual disdain causing most of that angst.


134 posted on 04/26/2017 7:33:34 AM PDT by Electric Graffiti (Obama voters killed America. Treat them accordingly.)
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To: NorthMountain

How original. In fact, I haven’t read anything like that on this thread.


135 posted on 04/26/2017 7:33:36 AM PDT by miss marmelstein
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To: BJ1

Child abuse, plain & simple.
A little hint to the women squeezing out bastard male children...If you force a male child to accept a woman as their authority figure the male child will reject authority first.
Search around the internet for the stats, raising a quality male child REQUIRES a father.
This article written 15 years from now will be entirely different...what a selfish woman.


136 posted on 04/26/2017 7:34:04 AM PDT by glasseye
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To: miss marmelstein
Actually, all I meant was that men need to be told how to dress.

Baloney.

137 posted on 04/26/2017 7:34:20 AM PDT by NorthMountain (The Democrats ... have lost their grip on reality -DJT)
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To: madison10

A century or more ago, girls did not menstruate until they were 16 or 17. Then, they got married a couple of years later. They did not have as big of a mismatch between maturity and physical ability.


138 posted on 04/26/2017 7:34:48 AM PDT by married21 ( As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.)
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To: JimRed
Try church, sweetheart. Guys don’t typically go there to “hook up”, and tend to have at least a bit of integrity.

The reason WHY many women (and men) want to date via "social media" rather than church, is that in social media hookups, they don't have people revealing their past to their prospective dates.

139 posted on 04/26/2017 7:37:16 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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To: miss marmelstein

It’s called “a look in the mirror”. I hope you found it educational.


140 posted on 04/26/2017 7:37:18 AM PDT by NorthMountain (The Democrats ... have lost their grip on reality -DJT)
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