At the risk of opening a can of worms, my personal experience lends some truth to both your statements.
I, also, am on the ‘spectrum,’ or whatever that means nowadays. Whatever the case, living in this world is a headache and a half. I have been tempted more than a few times to just get a government check for ‘disability’ like the people I know who have it a lot easier than I do.
(In the end, a combination of vanity and the simple fact that I couldn’t stand being a burden on people changed that. That and the autists on government checks that I knew were insufferable leftist narcissists. So... yay, I guess?)
There ARE resources available to learn to adapt. I went through quite a few of them, and they’ve helped me learn to manage the autism thing. Life certainly isn’t perfect, but damned if it isn’t a lot better than it was before I got diagnosed.
It got better as I got older but now I am reverting back as I approach 60. It’s like I have given up trying to hide it. The fact I play video games all the time probably doesn’t help.
Luckily, it is a great thing for a programmer to have.