I think I only cried once after my son was killed in combat. And that was when I was accused of not caring because I wasn't showing emotion. That pushed me over the edge. I had to relieve some of that extreme agony and the shock and horror. I did get teary-eyed at a later funeral of a very young Marine way out in a small town in the western part of Virginia. They were singing Amazing Grace. Too much.
I am so sorry for your loss, and your mistreatment.