Posted on 03/17/2017 12:30:57 AM PDT by American72
Our older son is finally moving out next week. He is 23 and has worked for our small business throughout his young adult life, but hadn't been able to find full time work that would pay enough to live on his own. He did pay rent while living here after college.
The problem is that he has completely rejected our family values. I guess he was indoctrinated in college unfortunately. This was a kid that went with us to the original Bush rallies during the recount and was proud to be American, and even wrote a paper on my great great grandfather who was a Civil War veteran (Confederate).
He and I got into it last year after I caught him trying to indoctrinate my 13 year old about Bernie Sanders. I told him he could believe whatever he wanted but he would not push his views on his sister.
Later on he became a Hillary supporter and wrote blogs about how "horrified" he was about Trump. He wrote a blog recently called "Why Liberals Lose" and it basically said that liberals know they are smarter than conservatives, and they just have to learn how to convey their message better so that conservatives will understand it. WTH.
We rarely talk anymore outside of general pleasantries. It is upsetting to know he finds his Dad and I stupid and "intolerant." He said we haven't had anything good to say about Democrats in his lifetime. It's hard to have good things to say about them when their values and behaviors are completely 180 form what we believe.
The sad thing is, he is a big Christian. He was raised Lutheran, but has decided to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. I honestly don't understand any of that, but I am staying out of it.
He rejects anything we say to him anymore. He is moving 800 miles away, and I'm sad to think this is it, and this is how this phase of our parenting is ending. I can pray he sees the light as he gets out in the real world.
Have any of you dealt with this? And if so, any advice or words of wisdom?
I feel like a failure here, and I'm sure I'll hear from some how I royally screwed up. I'm just praying there is hope for the future.
Lady jane, you must not have children. Yes, they make snide remarks they say they hate you etc. Big deal..Like the other poster said, they are gauging the reaction, trying to get under the parent’s skin. The parent giving a lot of emotion and reaction will just cause it to happen more frequently.
What makes someone a liberal is having a favorite sin. We are all sinners, but it is our calling as Christians to reject sin in all its forms, always repenting and returning to the love of God. If we willfully let anything stand between us and the love of God, i.e. sin, then our conscience goes a little nutty, it has to be smothered by a false morality a false theology. Hence liberalism.
Your son is a “liberal” because he has been swindled by sexual immorality, enjoying the marriage good outside holy matrimony. He will remain trapped by liberalism until he repents.
You will be in our prayers. God bless you for your focus on what is most important
One of the values he’s rejecting is your hard work in your business. When he comes begging for money (and he will) tell him in no uncertain terms that he has to work for it just like you did. He’ll hate you in the short term, but maybe it will get through to him that life isn’t free handouts from mom and dad.
“Where is he moving? Does he have a full-time job? “
He is moving to Atlanta for a six month paid internship. If he does well they will hire him full time. Some sort of “growth associate” aka marketing/sales for a company.
He’s never done anything in marketing or sales so we will see how he does. But yes, I imagine the first real 40 hour paycheck he gets with all those taxes taken out will shock him.
Yes
Yes
I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if I made a snide remark to either of my parents.
Excuse me, care to elaborate?
Yeah, kookie when Christians say other Christians aren’t Christian eyeroll
The best thing for you and JR. is for him to begin his new life 800 miles away. You have to let go. The only way he’s gonna get back to his roots is to fall flat on his face.
It’s the prodigal son story only with ideology as the lure instead of wine, women and song.
You are not alone. The more you push on him, the more he will strike an oppositional pose.
Best to go to PragerU.com and gently share a video with him and ask him if he can show you where it is wrong. Dennis Prager talks every day on his show about college indoctrination. Just be there, love your son, and don’t get into politics from opposing sides.
A parent’s words are like water on a rock. They appear to do nothing. But over time, they actually do shape the rock.
Go to PragerU and watch some videos and find one to start with, to share with him. Good luck. Remember that the Amish allow their young adult kids to go on a couple “rumspringa” years, where they are free to try non Amish life and anything they want. 80% come back to the fold.
He’s young and foolish. You raised him right, but he’s at the age of becoming his own man. Eventually he should come back around. Continue to let him know you love him and accept him even if you disagree, and that you respect him. Most importantly pray he matures in wisdom sooner than later.
Yeah, kind of funny how some people seem to think Christianity is defined by their own auspices.
Not your fault so don’t feel guilty.
God gave us Free Will, even the ignorant amongst us.
Oh yeah, make sure you have a Family Trust set up and he is cut off completely from anything and everything you worked and sacrificed for during your Lifetime.
Don’t reward ignorance out of a sense of loyalty to Family or self imposed Guilt.
You can only do your best and it sounds like you did.
Just my $.02, your Mileage may vary.
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