Dearest fecal matter,
It has been brought to my attention that my earlier post comparing Obumagabe and his minions to feces has caused distress among the feces community.
I am dreadfully sorry for the unfair comparison and I humbly ask forgiveness from feces, urine and all other forms of excrement for the thoughtless way I worded my post. In no way did I intend, by inference or otherwise, to compare you with Obumagabe, ValJal, Lurch or any member of the Clinton brood.
I am instructing my foundation to make available as much Charmin as you require for the next four years. It is my sincere hope that my apology with restore our relations to where they were prior to my irresponsible comparison.
Humbly,
Skooz
Thank you, kind sir. :)