Posted on 12/06/2016 11:08:19 AM PST by conservative98
DEAR man on the street,
I’m writing to ask for your help.
As a female runner, I am constantly aware of my safety when I’m out on an evening run. What is behind me? Do I hear anything strange? Why is that man running towards me? What is making those bushes rustle?
And I am always home before dark.
Author Margaret Atwood said, “Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”
You may think that’s hyperbole, but I promise you, it’s not. Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger.
Can you imagine that?
When we go out running, we are putting ourselves in a vulnerable situation. We’re out of our comfort zone, and often on our own.
While the stories of rape and murder are the ones that gain the most media attention, we’re aware that it’s unlikely to happen to us. Unlikely, but always possible.
What we’re more like to encounter, though, is sexual harassment: catcalls, leering, suggestive comments and gesticulations … the list goes on.
What that harassment does is remind us that we are forever vulnerable. That we can never feel truly safe.
A recent study conducted by Runner’s World found that a whopping 43 per cent of women sometimes experience harassment on the street when they run. That’s in contrast to the 4 per cent of men who experienced the same.
The problem with harassment is that it isn’t just lighthearted banter — and it’s certainly not a compliment. (Has a call of ‘nice tits’ ever been the start of a great love story?) Harassment is all about power, and letting us know we’re in that man’s space.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a man, you fall into one of two categories:
1. You’re a genuinely nice guy who needs to be more aware of this problem
2. You’re a man who makes women feel unsafe when she’s running in public (shame on you!).
Either way, the fact that women feel unsafe when they’re out running in public is directly attributable to men. Victorian teen Masa Vukotic was murdered while out on a regular evening walk. She was in a park, in daylight, only a 500 metres from her home when she was killed. Source: Facebook
So why are all the articles and safety tips aimed at women? Why are we gathering safety groups to run with, running with personal alarms, and cutting our runs short so we’re not out after dark?
Why aren’t we asking men to fix what they broke?
I know, I know it’s #notallmen, but the thing is, it’s some men. Runner’s World reported that it was men in 94 per cent of cases where women felt threatened. And there are enough men out there contributing to this problem to make most women at least wary when they go running by themselves.
The problem is that women can’t tell the difference between those problem men and the genuinely nice guys.
If you’re one of the good guys, you probably don’t think of yourself as intimidating but your presence in certain circumstances can make a woman feel unnerved. If you don’t believe me, ask the women you know. Like many other women in Australia, Masa Vukotic regularly exercised in a local park But being alone she was vulnerable, and she was killed here at Koonung Creek Linear Park, in Doncaster, Melbourne. Picture: Chad Van Estrop
The good news is you’re in a great position to help us to feel more safe when we’re out running. Here’s what you can do:
• Don’t run directly behind us at the same pace. Either overtake or fall behind.
• When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Don’t hang around running trails or paths wearing a hoodie and doing nothing in particular.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.
• If a woman is wearing headphones, and you absolutely must approach her for some reason, do it from the front.
• Don’t ask us for help if your car or bike has broken down. Find someone else.
• Give us a wide berth when you’re passing and share the footpath. Even better, step off to the side. You already have global domination; you can give us a bit of concrete.
• There is no reason to gesticulate towards your crotch. Don’t even scratch yourself until you’ve passed us.
• Don’t spit anywhere near us please.
• If you have a female partner or friend who runs, ask her if she’d like some company.
As for the smaller set of men, who have contributed to this feeling of being unsafe for women everywhere, I have a special set of requests for you:
• Stop leering.
• Stop commenting on our bodies.
• Stop catcalling.
• Stop propositioning us.
• Stop groping us.
• Stop flashing us.
• Stop raping us.
• Stop murdering us.
So please, share the responsibility for making women feel safe, and make the streets a fun place to run again.
She lives in Australia, where guns are banned to prevent crime. DOH!
It's amazing in Australia, too.
The first 2/3 of her letter reminds us WHY society developed a structure where men protected women, with chivalry and rules of behavior.
Then she launches into the EXACT sort of Feminist diatribe that blew all that up.
The girl who wrote this lives in Australia. If only she could carry a gun. I thought those strict gun laws in Australia stopped all crime?
There are good guys, bad guys, and some that are rude to varying degrees.
The bad and the rude direct their activities toward males as well, just in different contexts.
While not many guys are going to get “nice tits”, they are far more likely to get “what are you doing in my neighborhood” and get the crap kicked out of them by multiple assailants just for being there.
Maybe an extreme example, but I don’t feel like creating a list.
All you can do is recognize it’s a dangerous world. Be aware and act accordingly.
Why not add: Cut your b#!!s off and hang them from a string around your neck?????
What if it’s a black man running near you or doing any of this stuff?
Would you suddenly feel like a racist for saying this?
Not all blacks are dangerous rapists.
Not all men are dangerous rapists.
Then don’t write this sexist crap please and get over yourself.
I've never thought of running as "fun." It's nothing for me to walk 5-7 miles and more, at a brisk pace (I consider a 16 minute mile pace as "brisk"), but I never see anyone with a happy look on their face when they're running.
This woman must be a real hoot to deal with.
Wow, just a bunch of whining and complaining. If a guy running the opposite route, towards her, makes her feel uncomfortable, I am pretty sure there ain’t much to do to help her.... and I thought men and women were equal, so why does she feel inferior?
As a corollary to this, I once asked a female coworker (USAF Sgt) why women chose to hang out with lowlife thugs. She said women like dangerous men.
I asked her, “dangerous like they might kill you?”
She said yes.
Weird.
This, of course, does not apply to women who are innocently going about their business. Women who can, should carry.
“Every woman I know has been in a situation at least once in their life when they thought their life was actually in danger. Can you imagine that?”
Yes, actually. We men _can_ imagine that.
Often because we _have_ actually been in danger. We men are in fact wired to take existential risks to protect others (strangers included): that’s why we so often become soldiers, police, rescuers, etc.
The difference, as noted by the nature of the author’s screed, is that our reaction to such a situation (imagined or real) inspires us to provide for our own safety & security - NOT to plead with half the population at large to behave better, when those listening aren’t the problem, and those who are the problem aren’t listening.
Yes, those of us reading aren’t trying to cause you problems. We probably already do what you beg us to (be polite, be gone).
Take the response:
- be armed (get a gun)
- be aware (take out the d@mn headphones)
- don’t be provocative (if you dress deliberately for attention, don’t be surprised if you get it)
- don’t equate normal men with violent criminals (doesn’t inspire cooperation & protection)
Her attitude toward men and fellow joggers is the same as Hillary’s attitude toward the WH staff and SS agents.
This is the ridiculous type of stuff that annoys me so much about... well, just about any kind of sexual assault training or the "Take back the night" efforts. The kind of men who do that kind of stuff aren't going to stop just because you tried to "raise their awareness" about it.
Oh, and the woman who wrote this should try to find a safer place to run. I live in a safe neighborhood. I have no worries about running in my neighborhood. I run at work sometimes, too, and feel no danger there, either. And I wear headphones. That woman should probably move to a safer neighborhood, or at least get some running buddies.
If I were running in Australia I’d be a lot more concerned about the crocs, snakes, spiders, and other critters that can fell you quicker than you could say G’day than any human assailant.
I’m not offended by most of this. There’s a basic point here that I think goes much further, which is that all citizens are to an extent responsible for taking proactive steps to maintain public safety, and not everyone is “equal” when it comes to that responsibility. If you are a male, especially a larger, stronger one, then you need to be aware that people have a reasonable fear of you in places like jogging trails, alleys, parking lots, etc., especially at night and especially when there aren’t a lot of people around.
It’s the same logic that says that if you are a large black person in a dangerous area, you need to be particularly conscious being on your “p’s and q’s” when confronted by an officer of the law. Nothing personal, it’s just a reality of the world as it is.
Sure, because the bad guys are reading this and it set them on the path to reform their evil ways.
Dingbat either needs to carry or buy a treadmill and stop buying high calorie lattes at Starbucks.
Of course I can. I know men, and I know a few things about women.
Women place themselves in situations of incredible danger, foolishly, every day. I wish they would not do that.
“When you’re overtaking us, say something like, ‘Passing on your left’. And then pass quickly.
• Smile and/or wave as you run past us — we like feeling like we’re part of a community. But ignoring us works fine too, if that’s your thing.
• Don’t stop and chat. Mid-run is no place to strike up a new friendship.
• Keep eye contact to a minimum. Anything longer than two seconds is creepy.
• If you see a woman who could be being harassed, stop and ask if she needs help. At worst, you’re wrong and you feel a little sheepish. At best, you could stop something terrible from happening.
• Tell us if you’ve seen something threatening ahead. Are the lights under the bridge out? We love to know stuff like that.”
Aren’t some of these contradictory? Don’t stop and chat - but tell us if there is something threatening ahead. Isn’t that chatting? Isn’t stopping to see if someone is being harassed also approaching and stopping to talk, which is supposed to be a no-no?
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