As it is said, anger is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. I see my emails from only a few years ago and read my laments at the time about relationships. how people were acting, etc. Now, in the fullness of time, I think, “if only I could go back in time and have those problems”. Since then I have lost my dad, my mom, my son. Sometimes we can get perspective by reading or recalling the things that seemed so all-encompassing at the time, situations that passed and were resolved in one way or another. It is easier to endure difficulties if we can remind ourselves that all things, both good and bad, are temporary.
I am very sorry for all your losses.