I do not believe my premise is flawed, in fact I do agree with much of what you have said.
You stated: “Because of His love for them God doesn’t want any of them to suffer any more than is absolutely necessary, while honoring their free-will wish to avoid His presence forever.”
This is perfectly valid reasoning; however it is fails in a very important point. That being, that it assumes that Satan can break what Christ cannot correct. Sinful man, with eyes that cannot see and ears that cannot hear were and are still no match for Satan fell, Yet Christ our Lord and Saviour cannot correct mans sinful nature. That my friend is flawed.
I would also add another thing. Love is Perfectly Complete. Think how you would feel knowing that a brother, sister, mother, father, son or daughter is burning alive because you could not convinnce them to come to Christ. Would you not want to trade places with them? I know I would, sinner that I am, I know that I have no more heavenly right of place than anyone else. I am grateful that God did give me eyes and ears that can see and hear a little. Yes, knowing the Love that GOd has for me and the many many ways he has demonstrated it, I would trade places gladly.
But, there is still another point. You were punished as a child no doubt. I certainly was. I learned by that over time. The punishment did not last forever, but the correction certainly did. Look up the REAL meaning behind punishment in GREEK and you will discover “Correction” at the root.
So when we read that the PUNISHMENT will last forever, the real meaning is the Correction will last forever; who will undo it?
Of course the Scriptures speak of gnashing of teeth and much resistance to change, yet we must be careful of even this understanding. Jesus made it very clear that those who were given little (deaf and blind) the punishment will be light because little was expected; however, the greater the Spiritual insight, the greater the expectation. It is so called lofty Christians that will be screaming the most.
Scriptures state that no one will put out the fire, yet like any fire (SPIRITUAL NOT PHYSICAL) it will only burn while there is fuel available. Once exhausted the cleanse will be complete.
Yet you missed my question: How could any one being experiencing the figurative flames of Gehenna before being Judged. Who sent them without being accused; ie. The book of Life has yet to be opened, or do you believe that it already has been? No judging, just open honest discussion.
"Cannot" doesn't apply. "Chooses not" does. God honors their choice. When people determinedly choose self-will rather than repentance, He lets them do so.