Only 2 comedians could literally have me rolling on the floor - Rodney Dangerfield and Steven Wright.
Different styles but one non-stop zinger after another.
Rodney on Carson - non-stop rapid fire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQLv7CG10B4
Steven Wright quotes:
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
“If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?”
“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
“Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?”
“Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some people have.”
“What happens if you get scared half to death twice?”
“When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child...eventually.”
“Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.”
“If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?”
“You can’t have everything ... where would you put it?”
“Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?”
I saw Steven Wright live in the early 80s. His bit about the “boneless chicken farm” was hilarious.