[Pollster1]

One man I was speaking with asked if I had seen the newly released Boogie Nights and did I know who Dirk Diggler was. As I had not been living in a cave, I answered in the affirmative. He then asked if I wanted to 'see something.' I'll admit, I was naive. I did not connect his previous questions with his current question and sadly I did not hear the girl next him chanting, 'SAY NO,' until after I answered, 'Yes.' "The guy whips out his junk, flings it around like a windmill, and says, 'How about this!' I didn't even respond. I just walked away."

One of the funniest women I've ever known responded perfectly to a similar routine. I knew her enough to keep quiet when a moron made a big deal about whipping his anatomy out. She looked straight at him and said something innocuous, as if she hadn't noticed what he did. He pointed and said, "do you know what this is?"

She looked. No reaction. Put on her reading glasses, bent down for a better look, and acted startled, as if she had just noticed. "It looks almost like a man's _______, only smaller."

Priceless. Whoever married her got a real gem.

[antidisestablishment]

My favorite was in the local paper when I was a kid. A guy went to a grocery store and laid his junk on the counter. The cashier grabbed a can of veggies and slammed it down on the offending member. He was arrested at the hospital. There was a time when people wouldn’t put up with public perversion.