I met an old woman one time when going from door to door as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
We were to ask people if they believed in God, in the Bible. The woman let me in, saying she did, but I believe she mostly let me in out of the hot sun, it was a very hot day in Phoenix, Az in the summer.
She gave me water and as I continued on regarding the Bible she told me politely she was Jewish. She seemed reticent to speak at all about religion, me thinking it was because she was Jewish and not wanting to become Christian.
I did not press her. We were taught to only speak with ones who were interested but I did ask her if she believed in God, did she think about God at all and after a few minutes she admitted to me she had been in Auschwitz. She added she did not want to speak further on it. She said this quietly and politely.
She looked away when saying it. When she said it she had lowered her voice. She seemed that just by saying the name she felt as if she were ‘there’ again.
I was so shocked by her obvious emotional response, I could tell it was not something she admitted often, in fact I had the idea it was rarely spoken.
I said I was so sorry. After a minute of thought I said, ‘did you pray?’ meaning when she was there. Not thinking she didn’t but trying to grasp that awful situation of hers.
She looked at me in a confiding way and said, “We prayed all the time. We were numb with fear”. Indicating her prayers were the only thing that made her feel some kind of solace, feeling terrible things were likely going to happen but it was the only way to get through that. Like a child terrified and staying close to their father.
The horror she still remembered was evident in that fleeting moment she and I looked into each others eyes. The conversation was only that. She spoke in her soft old womans voice, with the eyes staring at me briefly with the fear and the pain still in them. It was palpable.
I cannot imagine anyone ‘pretending’ that. I imagine she got free because the war ended. No heroics. No meeting famous people. ]
I’ll never forget that poor dear woman who offered me a glass of water and a minute out of the heat with compassion for me only as another human being.
What a story.
We lived near two wonderful people, he was a cantor in our synagogue before he got too old, and they had both (husband and wife) been in Auschwitz. What tzaddikim (holy ones) those two were, or are, if they are still living.
My grandfather was in Buchenwald.
I’ve read this several times, it really affected me as I, like you, tried to understand how she dealt with those memories
It also brought back memories from a holocost denier named Herb who was a scum who used to maliciously interfere on amateur radio when he disagreed with those who ran traffic for missionaries. This nutcase used to find other nut cases who were also Nazi like deniers
Those who don’t understand the lessons of history will repeat them. One of the dangers today is that the Islamic nut cases hate the Jews more than the Nazis did. Sure, the Muslims kill infidels in Paris and Orlando but they really want to see blood flow in Israel. And we have a guy named Hussein in the White House who tries to hide it was Muslims who kill in hate attacks