I don’t know what kind of men you hang with. I have a few male friends — not many. None of them has ever slagged off the woman in his life. I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who did. The men you describe sound like disgusting cads.
Men get together with male friends to just be one of the guys again, watch a sporting event, play golf, have a couple of beers. Family stuff is seldom discussed other than passing milestones, noteworthy events. If there are any issues with their marriage, it’s not aired with the group. If discussed with a male friend at all, it’s expected to be kept in confidence.
You must hang with the most boring, whipped guys on earth. You might want to do a DNA check, because they sound like disgusting wimps.
And frankly, none of the guys I know would want some twinky dork like you for a friend.
By the way, there's a difference between complaining about your spouse and "slagging off" your partner. If you want to live some make-believe life where your wife is perfect, go for it. I -- and my friends -- live in the real world.