Mrs. Garrison: Hello doctor, looks like I need an abortion. [sits on the chair and puts his feet on the stirrups]
Doctor: ...an abortion?
Mrs. Garrison: Yeah, I’ve got one growing inside me. Now, are you gonna scramble its brains or just vacuum it out? [a nurse arrives and her jaw drops] ...If you want you can just scramble it and I’ll queef it out myself.
Doctor: Mmister Garrison-
Mrs. Garrison: [correcting him] Mrs. Garrison.
Doctor: Mmrs. Garrison, you can’t have an abortion.
Mrs. Garrison: Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do with my body! [gets up, goes to the nurse, and hugs her] A woman has a right to choose!
Doctor: No, I mean you’re physically unable to have an abortion, because you can’t get pregnant.
Mrs. Garrison: But I missed my period.
Doctor: You can’t have periods either. [Mrs. Garrison looks surprised] You had a sex change, Mr. Garrison, but you don’t have ovaries or a womb. You don’t produce eggs.
Mrs. Garrison: [sits down] You mean, I’ll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out?
Doctor: N-that’s right.
Mrs. Garrison: But I paid five thousand dollars to be a woman. This would mean I I’m not really a woman. Ih, I’m just a... a I’m just a guy with a mutilated penis!
Doctor: Basically, yes.
Mrs. Garrison: ...Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass.