[wideminded]

"She's not deceased at this time," a rescue worker told the dispatcher. "She is tied to a tree."

You couldn't have untied her before calling in?

Multiple strange things about this story. They had better make sure the woman didn't tie herself to the tree.

[Tax-chick]

It’s certainly within the realm of possibility that this is a nutty woman doing all this to get attention.

[jmacusa]

“Not deceased at this time’’. Well, by the laws of God above and Nature below someday we will all go ‘’the way of the flesh’’. But for now, at this time, it’s good to know that the 64 year old Tar Heeler is ‘’not deceased at this time’’.