Posted on 04/14/2016 12:45:33 AM PDT by Califreak
My dad had a stroke 22 years ago that eventually left him permanently disabled.
He had another one Sunday before last. He was in the hospital for three days then they shipped him off to rehab in a nursing home.
I was somewhat concerned because he was already completely disabled on his left side and the most recent incident weakened his right side as well.
While he was at the hospital, I fed him meals a few times. He could feed himself before this happened but he seemed to be having difficulty picking up his sandwich or using a fork or lifting a cup of water.
I think my mom was kind of in denial or shock. Dad wasn't feeding himself. At one point I wondered if something happened to his mind that it just didn't occur to him to pick up the fork or spoon. Hospital staff assured us he could feed himdelf but there was a CNA that came in and fed him. Mom claimed he was milking it. I wasn't too sure about that but didn't want to argue or cause alarm.
Best wishes for you and your family... Your dad is blessed to have a loving family.
Thanks for this thread... none of us know what tomorrow brings.. and you have provided us an opportunity to take note of our own lives.
My husband had a right side stroke that the hospital said he wouldn’t survive. Here he is 6 years later, laughing and enjoying life everyday. What your father has is probably aphasia. Ed has it too and in the beginning he couldn’t even comprehend the words point or touch your head. Your dad has not lost his memory or his knowledge, but his brain cannot connect his actions to what he wants to do. Ed has been somewhat of a miracle and even the rehab people say they have learned what is possible that the books don.t tell you.
He was totally paralyzed non the right and couldn’t speak except for the word “yep”. We did 48 piece wooden puzzles, played blackjack and simple games and exercises like a child might do. Talk to him like you did before the stroke. In spite of what it seems like he can probably still read and understand everything. Believe me, this is more frustrating for him than for your mom.
Please don’t give up no matter what. Look up aphasia on the computer and manually exercise his arm and leg and encourage him to resist and help so his movement and strength improves. Good luck and I will gladly answer your questions is you need help. Karen
Also, please keep him in the rehabilitation home as long as they will let him stay. That is up to your insurance company and the rehab people so be real nice to them.
Yes. I haven’t trusted doctors for a long time. I believe they’re government shills mostly. I usually always double check everything and do research. This was sudden and I’d been sick for a while and was just starting to get well so not at 100%.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you onyx.
I wish for the best for your father, your family, and yourself.
Will pray for you.
Thank you.
Maybe those places would work for semi ambulatory types but my dad was already scooter or wheelchair dependent.
I also realize the people who see them the most are the cnas who probably aren’t that experienced at recognizing the damage or maybe so busy they forget to pass on the information to the nurse.
Thank you.
Dearest you, Califreak,
I’ve read the rest of this thread and your messages. Your instincts were correct from the beginning so continue to go with your instincts because I think you must be very close to your Dad and that is God’s blessing. I will continue to pray, I promise.
God bless and keep you all.
Hospitals and nursing facilities are capable of many types of error and neglect. Nevertheless, family visiting frequently, being vigilant, and pleasantly asking questions of doctors and staff and judiciously distributing thanks and compliments to them helps to assure the best standard of care. My mother and aunt applied that approach to my grandmother’s benefit during her final years in a nursing home.
I believe the DNR document is enormously beneficial to nursing homes (from a liability perspective) and detrimental to patients. There is no need for a DNR order. Your mom is right there (or just a phone call away). She can make that decision at any time, why do it now?
Please tell your mom she made the right choice.
Prayers !!
Prayers for your father. God bless..
I just read the second half of your post. I have no advice to give Califreak. I’m sending up prayers though - for your dad and your family. When something like this happens, you are thankful that they got the help they need, but when you notice that something is just not right, you want to trust that the medical staff is noticing too and will listen to your concerns and take them seriously.
Prayers sent!
My wife started having panic attacks when it got near to my going home time and I often stayed until early morning or all night to clam her down and she could sleep.
At the end it was a bout of pneumonia that sent her back to the hospital for 6 days. While at the hospital her mood and spirit became better and the panic attacks disappeared. When it came time for her to be released back to rehab I had her moved to a much better place and while she still had a few bad nights her spirit remained much better over all.
But the insurance will only pay for so much rehab and she was sent home two weeks ago and it has been a struggle. I have some help, but no one that is strong enough to make transfers so I need to be close at all times and can not be gone more than a few hours depending on the kind of day she is having.
There will soon come a time in which I must make some decisions in which there will be no good choices.
All I can say is you must trust in the Lord and know that you are not alone.
DNR does NOT mean do not treat.
Many people think that DNR means...don't treat. That is wrong
DNR means....you don't won't to be intubated..and compression's...done on you. Period.
When it comes to that point....patients without the proper paperwork...cannot make that decision.
I've seen patients without life ending legal paperwork...end up lingering...suffering...on life support. Horribly living their last days...cruelly..IMO, with no hope of survival.
FWIW-
Sorry to hear that. I lost both my father and mother in the last few years. It is difficult to see them suffer and to lose them. There is peace knowing they’re in a better place.
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