When I was a child and I asked for coffee, they told me no! Drinking coffee would make me short and brown! I would sneak a cup occasionally and I drank enough to make me short but not enough to make me brown.
If only you had ignored your elders, drank coffee, and turned brown! Think of all the benefits you missed out on. You would have enjoyed a life without the shame of white privilege! You would have been able to hurl accusations of micro aggressions to anybody in earshot and retreat to the comfort of your safe space. If only we could turn back the hands of time.
“When I was a child and I asked for coffee, they told me no! Drinking coffee would make me short and brown!”
So, I wasn’t the only one! They told me I would turn black! Somehow, I didn’t believe them and was drinking coffee regularly by age seven. I’m still pretty darned white!