LOL! Good point. Who exactly does a newspaper call for an expert on cucumbers scaring cats? The county agricultural dept? And they found an EXPERT no less.
Let's see . . . (while thumbing thru the phone book) . . . cucumbers, scaring cats, expert . . . A__hole, Busybody, Ph.D. (piled high and heep) . . . 1-800-JERKOFF . . . (riing, riing) "You have called the cat cucumber scaredy cat hotline . . . press 1 for English . . . . etc.
Animal psychologists?