Posted on 08/22/2015 7:43:13 PM PDT by PROCON
I am sorry. To all you moms out there who can’t go out to eat because your kid screams and ruins your dinner, I am so sorry. Until now, I’ve been incredibly spoiled and I may have even thought it was your fault that your kid was screaming during dinner. (I may have judged you a little.) My first two children–girls–were what we called white-tablecloth babies. We could take them to the best upscale restaurant on the Magnificent Mile and they wouldn’t make a peep. They would eat their dinner and play with a toy and everyone would smile at them and compliment me. I thought I was soooooo good at this mothering thing. What a fool I was.
My darling son just turned one. This is the one who already got me yelled at on a plane (another first). He has one volume: LOUD. He screams if his food isn’t in front of him quickly enough, when he runs out of zucchini and hot dogs, when he’s thirsty, tired, angry, happy, sticky, uncomfortable, bored, or just having fun. He has one mode of communication: screaming. This is not a discipline issue. He can’t be “disciplined” yet. He’s a baby. (The first person to say “spank him” in the comments section loses. You don’t spank a baby.) You can’t even really speak harshly to a baby. It makes the screaming worse! The only thing you can do is hurry up and leave the restaurant, change his scenery, play peek-a-boo, give him your keys, your necklace, the ten different toys in the baby bag, your wallet, your dignity and pray it stops. My God, it’s horrible!
Don’t get me wrong. I adore this kid, but I’ve never heard so much screaming this side of Hell. I’m sure it will lessen when he can talk and communicate with us, but as it is, we are drowning in shrieking over here. I hesitate to say, “I can’t wait for this stage to be over” because the next one that comes is the whining stage and that one’s no picnic either. What the heck happened to my quiet baby who nursed half the day and slept the rest of the time? Why do I feel like I’ve never done this before and most importantly, will I ever eat out with my family again?
Not only does he scream, but he misses his mouth most of the time (see “Why My Kitchen Floor is Always Disgusting“) and the whole floor around him is peppered with bits of half-chewed food. It’s so embarrassing. Mr. Fox and I had an emergency meeting about the dining-out behavior tonight. We are about to go out of town for two days and we’ve decided we should bring food and just eat in our room. It’s that bad. And I’m a veteran mother! This is number three! If I am not doing well, how much worse is it for you first timers? I’m so sorry! I feel you, sister!
So here’s my best advice if you’re facing a similar problem:
1.It’s not your fault.
2.Vodka is your friend.
3.If you must go out to eat, go to the next town to the loudest place you can find (where no one knows you) and leave a big tip.
4.Leave him with a babysitter until he’s 10.
Above all, the days are long, but the years are short, so it will end sooner than you think it will. Until then, you’ll find me slinking out of public places with a shrieking baby, trying not to be recognized.
The kid is having tantrums. The best way to deal with it is to take a break from eating out for a couple months and keep him home. When he has a tantrum don’t rush to give in to him, instead ignore it, or even laugh. When he learns that tantrums no longer works they will stop.
The kid is having tantrums. The best way to deal with it is to take a break from eating out for a couple months and keep him home. When he has a tantrum don’t rush to give in to him, instead ignore it, or even laugh. When he learns that tantrums no longer work they will stop.
Wow. You are my hero. How tough that must have made you feel. I would say you are lucky you picked the right guy. Some of us would not have been impressed with your tough guy act and accepted your invitation to discuss it outside.
Of course I imagine you knew there was little chance you would have to back it up.
Go to Pet Smart and buy a bark collar.
Might depend on the woman they're with...
My father-in-law was miffed that he had spent so much money on tickets that my son and husband missed but there was never a problem again.
Another time, my son ( again around age 4) complained that the family was going to a restaurant that he did not prefer. Simple! My husband immediately turned the car around, dropped my son off at a neighbor, and the rest us had an very enjoyable meal at the local Pizza Hut.
Our rule was, “We as parents had to have a good time!” If we weren't, we would go home. It was a two hour drive to the ocean. If the kids squabbled in the back of the car, my husband would turn the car around and head back home.....even if just 15 minutes from the beach. All my husband or I would have to do is just calmly say, “I am not having a good time.” and all teasing, poking, and squirming would stop in an instant.
It's tough talk when your on a computer.
It's completely different when you're in the real world.
Well, I didn’t mean...
Oh...my bad. I misunderstood :)
My daughter was the easiest baby going and to this day is just a laid back easygoing woman. I thought this was how all babies were. No....18 months after her birth my son was born and our world became topsy turvy for about 18 years. He came into the world screaming and he continued to be difficult until college. He always had a prickly personality. Now that he’s married with children of his own, he has mellowed, somewhat, and has a wife who knows how to deal with his moods. He’s actually a wonderful son, husband and dad. He now has a daughter who is just like him and he can’t understand why? Every child has their own unique personality and I think they’re born prewired. I have 3 grown children with 3 very distinct ways of dealing with life.
LOL, that would raise some eyebrows.
When we attended church regularly as young parents, our little girls would sometimes act up. We took turns taking them out into the foyer. After a few repeated incidents, we begin to see things from the kids point of view: acting up gets us the reward of going out with Mom or Dad where we get a lot more room to play!
Once we figured that out, we took them to the bathroom where we either stood or forced them to sit on the john . . . certainly not as pleasant as sitting in a hard pew where they had coloring books and such and far, far less pleasant than sitting on a soft sofa in the foyer.
Once we started seeing things from the kid's point of view, it became no more complicated than "Bite mommy and titty get put away. No more milk!" Even a pre-tot can figure that out.
Yup, kids aren't dumb, they can manipulate even at a young age.
I lose. They understand hand swats when they are reaching for something dangerous. You know the look on their face...they look at you...they look at their hand...their eyes get big. They know something significant has happened. No, I don't recommend full scale spanking for screaming in restaurants, but I object to her blanket statement above.
Isn't that inconsiderate of the others in the restaurants who have to listen to your child's tantrum? Very early in my children's lives they learned there was a tone in Mom or Dad's voice that let them know that they would regret continuing this behavior. We ate out frequently and none of our children ever created a scene in a restaurant.
If they’re spanked at home in the first place, seldom is spanking in public ever needed. And if it is, when done correctly, once should be enough from then on out.
Great story!
So, their anniversary rolled around and they took me up on the offer.
We had a great time that night.
About every 15 or 20 minutes, my friends would call, checking up. My buddy's wife is the nervous sort. She actually thought her kids would test me. (I have caused and still cause plenty of gray hair. 5 or 6 little kids ain't going to intimidate me :)
So...I get a call later in the evening. They're done with dinner and should be home in about 20 minutes.
So...I have the kids get their moms clothes line and a hand towel.
I then tied the towel around my head and gagged myself and then wrapped the clothes line around my hands and had the kids tie my feet.
When my buddy and his wife came in everybody had a great laugh. But it did take Julie about 5 seconds to realize it was actually staged.
To this day the kids ask if I remember that night. And the oldest is now 20.
That was a great night.
One other time, I went over with a carton of ice cream and a box of Rice Crispies.
Had some kids crush the Rice Crispies in a bag, had some others making ice cream balls with an ice cream scoop and had the older kids crack some eggs for an egg wash.
We then made fried ice cream.
One night, I was over and we sat down to watch a movie. Hannah, the youngest was pretty shy with everyone. Even around grandma and grandpa.
So we're sitting there as the movie is starting and Hannah, who is about 4 at this time, comes over and climbs right up into my lap. Julie, her mom, almost fell out of her chair in disbelief.
IIRC Hannah is about 11 or 12 now. The oldest are 20,19 and 18.
9 kids.
9 good kids.
Though technically the oldests aren't kids anymore.
Still...they're all growing up fine. (I just hope they can stay that way)
I sure wish FreeRepublic had a thumbs up button.
“Parenting 101”
Ages 1-2 years old: teach to stand & talk.
Ages 2-18 years old: teach to sit down & shut up.
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